If you suffer from chronic illness, you’ve been through a lot. The first time you’re told you’re ill, you’re in shock. At first you freeze up, then you’re in disbelief, and then you start crying. Then you get angry, and wonder „Why me?“  In the end, you wind up desperate. The most important question is what do you do after that? Should you permanently stay like this, or snap out of it and try to organize your life and live it to the fullest, according to your capabilities. 

Since I had started writing this blog, people have been telling me about their problems, very similar to these. Most people who have messaged me had been through very extreme situations. A coma, a stroke, anorexia, various autoimmune diseases, and dialysis. Some of them lost a recently transplanted kidney. The lowest common denominator for all of them is fear. Fear of…what exactly? 

Fear of the procedure? No. Fear of failure of the procedure? Why? It can’t get any worse than this. Fear of chronic pain? That’s something that awaits us all at a certain point in time, when everything hurts. And finally? Fear of death. What is there to be afraid of? I was in a coma, and there is no light at the end of the tunnel, no flashbacks of moments from your past. Nothing happens. You fall asleep, and that’s it. You’re gone, and you’re not in pain. The only ones who feel pain are the ones who stayed and loved you. 

We waste too much of our time given on earth on being afraid. Afraid of the dark, tests, teachers, failing exams, not being loved by people, falling down and hurting ourselves, heights, pregnancy, not having children, not getting the job we want, of flying. When you add it all up, you end up spending more of your life on being afraid then actually enjoying yourself. Our days are numbered, and life is so very short. When you’re young, time goes by so slowly, we’re all in such a rush to become adults, and before you know it, you’re forty years old, and life starts zooming past you like a race car, all engines are deployed, and light speed is achieved. Everything you thought would happen to you won’t. Every dream you had about your future is just that, a dream. Everything you’ve earned you will spend on treatment, rather than spending it on travelling, like you planned to.

So, seize the day! Laugh; find a way to do something good every day you spend on this earth. Don’t be afraid. Every bad thing passes, and only the good should be remembered. You never know whether or not a doctor will put you on a rickety chair and tell you „Well, um, the situation is, um, serious“.

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